My Old Man's a Dustman

Now here's a little story To tell it is a must About an unsung hero That moves away a dust Some people make a fortune Others earn a mint My old man dont earn much Infact, hes flippin skint! My old mans a dustman He wears a dustmans hat He wears cor-blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat He looks a propa 'nana in his great big hobnail boots He's got such a job to pull 'em up that he calls 'em daisy roots Some folks give tips at Christmas And some of them forget So when he picks their bins up He spills some on the step Now one old man got nasty And too the council wrote Next time my old man went round there He punched him up the throat! My old mans a dustman He wears a dustmans hat He wears cor-blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat I say I say I say less Yeah? I, er, I found a police dog in my dustbin How'd you know he's a police dog? He had a policeman with him Though my old mans a dustman He's got a heart of gold He got married recently Though hes 86 years old We said here, hang on dad you're getting past your prime He said when you get my age it helps to pass the time My old mans a dustman He wears a dustmans hat He wears cor-blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat I say I say I say Eh? My dusbins full of lilies Well throw them away then I cant, Lillie's wearing them Now one day whilst in a hurry He missed a ladies bin He hadnt gone but a few yards when she chased after him "What game do you think your playing? She cried straight from the heart You've missed me am I too late? Nah jump up on the cart! My old mans a dustman He wears a dustmans hat He wears cor-blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat I say... I say... I say... Not you again My dustbin's absoloutely full of toadstools How do you know its full? Cause theres not mushroom inside! He found a tigers head one day Nailed to a piece of wood The tiger looked quite miserable But I suppose he should! Just then from out the window A voice began to wail... it said 'Oy, wheres me tigers 'ead?' Four foot from its tail! My old mans a dustman He wears a dustmans hat He wears cor-blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat Next time you see a dustman Looking all pale and sad Dont kick him in the dustbin It might be my old dad