Henry Ford vs Karl Marx

Epic Rap Battles of History Henry Ford versus Karl Marx! Begin! Mr. Motor City meets the menace in red My lines are a production, your lines are bread Disassembling timepieces is how I got my start Now watch me tear your ideology apart You scream, unite the workers, free the class slaves! Lose your chains, trade 'em in for mass graves Mao and Stalin, wow! Appalling mounds of body bags When a world leader likes you, that's a red flag I produce with my two hands! You're a destitute tramp Scheming to trade bootstraps in for food stamps Any Prussian trying to seize my private property Will catch a torque wrench to his private parts properly Who takes advice from a broke slob? It's laughable I wouldn't wipe my tailpipe with your Das Krapital If you'd saved a penny for each daughter you named Jenny You might not have needed to bury quite so many Who's that proud Young Hegelian heavy-drinkin' card carryin' Future thinkin' Lincoln letter inkin' proletarian? It's Karl Marx, prepare to be rhyme-stomped I'm droppin' you like Hitler dropped your name in Mein Kampf My concepts didn't cause mass graves, greed did You'd get that from books, but you didn't read shit Your self-made man story's dung from a Taurus Your daddy's two hands gave you a free farm and a forest You were the first of six kids 'til the seventh killed your mother Maybe that's why you spied on your workers like Big Brother Your Model T total lack of style is killing me We can't take shit from you according to ability Do what your first car can't and backup Beating me is like your city in Brazil, nuts! Whew, don't step that close without some beard shampoo, son You lived in Cologne, look like you could've used some I drip with style like a dipstick drips oil You look as sick as your chronic dick boils I'm mass-producing abuse on a utopian hobo I'm throwing you for loops like the F in my logo I gave men work, you brought nothing but harm Take your bourgeois pig shit back to Animal Farm Yeesh, your factory conditions were bleak Crammed with machines, cranking out four severed fingers a week You controlled what employees could think, drink and eat And when they marched for better wages, shot them dead in the streets In truth, what you produced was alienated working men Who would clock into Detroit and lose themselves like Eminem And now your Great Lakes State ain't exactly a great sight You were worse for Michigan than Flint's water pipes Uh, your gripes about oppression don't leave me impressed You're not hot, Karl, that's just shit on your chest For a man who's stateless, you got an awful lot to say I'll pay you five dollars a day to go away Your buddy Engels bankrolled you with his textile mills I guess the Capitalists are cool when they're paying your bills You're a hypocrite, a nitwitted schlub with substance issues Step off your soapbox, take the soap with you Look, dummy, sharing money is the communist vision Engels' bank was the crank that got the revolution spinning We gave everything to see the common people advance I'm so down with the cause, I even pawned my own pants You grew so out of touch, you sabotaged your only kid Edsel's stomach cancer showed more love than you did So congrats, your legacy's in ashes Remembered as the fascist sympathizing Cause of climate change and car crashes From your newspaper to your Nazi factory across the pond Frankly, Hank, it's clear Auschwitz side you were on This battle's been a blowout like that hemorrhage in your head I'll leave a Ford as expected, found on road dead Who won? Who's next? You decide! Oh, Epic (rap, rap) Rap Battles (battles) of History!