I Got a Theory

I got a theory When you are from Lake Eerie You're better than the average Joe Though buried in snow It's time to let the whole world know I got a theory It takes a place this dreary To give a guy the right amount Of drive to surmount It's time to tell the world we count (Are we onto something here?) (Yeah, keep writing! With this one, we might get more gigs than we need) I got a theory When you are from Lake Eerie You're better than the average Joe Though buried in snow It's time to let the whole world know (The Al Kerrann Shriners welcome the Donny Nova Band!) I got a theory It takes a place this dreary To give a guy the right amount Of drive to surmount It's time to tell the world we count When John D, that old Rockefeller (Uh-uh) First set foot on Cleveland soil (On Cleveland soil) No one thought he was anything stellar (Nuh-uh) Then he struck it with standardized oil It gives us our aroma! (Ya getting ready for the big trip next month?) (Oh, NBC is sending us on the Cleveland Limited, Pullman cars) (Geez! How about that, that must be costing them a fortune!) (Eh, it's the least they could do) (That is good to hear — Say, I had a band cancel on me, so could I book you guys Again for tomorrow night? I know it's last minute, and you'd be saving my butt, so How about I toss in extra fifty?) (Guys?) (You know, I'm really in a bind, make it an extra seventy-five) (I suppose we could b—) (You drive a hard bargain, kid! Hundred extra, that's the best I can do Help a guy out!) (Sure thing! We can do that for you, Oliver, tomorrow night) (Swell! Break a leg tonight) (Johnny, what's that bring the total to?) (Nine-hundred and thirty-six dollars and seventy-eight cents) (How do you do that?) (I have no idea) When Bob Hope was only called Lester (Doop, doop) A busker in ol' Luna Park (Started out as a busker) Who'd-a guessed that poor little Lester (Doop, doop, doop) In the movies would make such a mark! (Cleveland's creme de la creme, taking New York by storm in just three weeks!) (Jo, it's Oliver — Now listen, I need your help with something It's about the Donny Nova Band) (Al, it's Jo, Oliver called, now don't give me ant if your crap You're gonna help me out with the Donny Nova Band!) I got a theory The people from Lake Eerie Have plenty more to brag about There's talent no doubt It's time to let the secret out (You just sang a very good set, my dear! Hey buddy, whiskey?) (Coming right up, Mr. Zladic) (Ever thought of giving up the bottle?) (Nope) (C'mon, just for a week, hm? What'dya say?) (Julia, I know there isn't enough whiskey in the world To wash away what I saw in those camps I owe it to myself to try, and let that suffice Most forcible feeble) (Cleveland's finest, back at the pavilion!) (From the Blue Wisp to the big time!) (Back by popular demand, the Donny Nova Band!) I wanna hear my favorite song! (Tonight at Oliver's, you know who!) I wanna hear my band at eight! I got a theory We get a little weary Of people dumping on this town It's true that the— Winters are endless The lake is polluted The ball team is losing The sewers exploded The mob is returning The river's on fire again! But nothing's gonna keep us down! They got their fancy accents On the East Side of Manhattan But we ain't met a gal We couldn't find a way to flatter The Vanderbilts spent summer at the spa in Saratoga But nothing beats the waters of the flaming Cuyahoga I got a theory Without a boat, can hear he Is swingin' to these tunes of ours Bring out the cigars 'Cause Cleveland's got some brand new stars! We love you Cleveland!