Mixed Emotions

Lost inside my head, this time it feels like I'm not crawling out Stuck with all this dread and I can't fight it, so I'm calling out Can anybody help me? I know I been stuck in my ways Don't gotta tell me 'cause lately I been trying to change And it's unhealthy the way that I been taking the blame I let 'em hate me 'cause I don't really care I'm sick of going through the motions, tired of losing focus Always do my best, can you tell me why I'm broken? I'm sick of my emotions, words I've never spoken Always in a cloud above my head and now I'm hopeless I wish that I could dive right in it, love when I'm winning I been nonstop working, 'boutta burst through the ceiling But the outcome never seems to match what I'm feeling And the thoughts run through my head, they don't want me to breathe again Yeah, and it's been killing me to see just what my life's like Yeah, I went to therapy to try to get my mind right Told me I'd feel better if I'm staying out the limelight But I couldn't do it if I wanted And I can't explain this feeling My heart's been fighting my brain All up in flames and I been I been calling Can anybody help me? I know I been stuck in my ways Don't gotta tell me 'cause lately I been trying to change And it's unhealthy the way that I been taking the blame I let 'em hate me 'cause I don't really care I'm sick of going through the motions, tired of losing focus Always do my best, can you tell me why I'm broken? I'm sick of my emotions, words I've never spoken Always in a cloud above my head and now I'm hopeless I got too attached to my past, now I gotta kill the old me Lost way too much, so don't tell me that you know me Lost everyone I had, now all I know is feeling lonely Try to stray from this path, but I can't 'cause it chose me I can keep going on, but I save my breath I distract myself, just write another check And I just gave a quarter-million to the IRS Another quarter for a trip just to decompress So tell me why it's not working When I could buy like anything I want, life should be perfect But there's more to me than what you're seeing on the surface Happiness was something I could never seem to purchase I swear, like every day I been hurting And I can't explain this feeling My heart's been fighting my brain All up in flames and I been I been calling Can anybody help me? I know I been stuck in my ways Don't gotta tell me 'cause lately I been trying to change And it's unhealthy the way that I been taking the blame I let 'em hate me 'cause I don't really care I'm sick of going through the motions, tired of losing focus Always do my best, can you tell me why I'm broken? I'm sick of my emotions, words I've never spoken Always in a cloud above my head and now I'm hopeless