Bipolar

I'm sick of being told being myself isn't working Like everything I do is all for no purpose But I feel the greatness inside of me Yeah, it's like digging a grave, I unearth it I'm always at war with the past and the current And my mental health got my brain always swirling It's scary, it's kind of like I'm Tyler Durden I'm bipolar, yeah, I carry that burden Got highs and lows, but fine on the surface I might explode, like, nobody's perfect But even with all of this pain that I battle I still find the strength, take a track and I murk it Nobody can stop me, it's not even worth it They try to get by me, I'm not even nervous Got real ones beside me, the kind you can't purchase I feel like the only one left in the circus So unapologetically me Outstreaming labels, could show you the stats, let 'em read it and weep They all tried to sign me, I've read all the offers, they'd love me deceased I don't need the industry, grateful to everyone, got all the fans that I need We're 'Bouta take over, been crafting the videos, do it, I'll still wear my heart on my sleeve And fear on my face Signifies how I demolished the pain Think it's a statement 'bout COVID, it's not where 2018, never changed They're still throwing dirt on my name They wanted me gone 'cause they hate how I'm saying the truth I'm not like the others, stay true to myself No, I don't gotta change to get views They don't know the first thing about me, they always assume, so I'ma just let 'em, they'll hate me no matter whatever I do Whatever I do gonna last, I can't say the same about you, most of you don't have a clue, like They all come and go, the gimmicks get old, and then one day nobody shows up to the shows I've seen it, it's tragic, they really don't know how long I've been rapping It's been like a decade, the music is spreading The people that doubted don't know where I'm headed They don't understand what I've been through Or what I might do to live out all my dreams I've been dreading the thought of a panic attack Got me sweating, but I gotta kill it, no matter the setting I can't have it holding me back if I'm stressing I just gotta dive in and do it, no treading It's so exhausting, tryna navigate this life 'Cause everyone you see expects you to just be normal all the time I'm not normal, one day I'm depressed and lay in bed The next, I'm fine, it takes ten times the effort to even try If you really knew me, you would know what I bottle I've been working every night 'cause I'm scared I won't drop and I remember bad days, all the pills I was coughing up I've had the Devil on my shoulder, yeah, he's always so ominous Cleaned up, found God, I'm a whole new Josh Ain't nobody is touching me, all the ones that look up to me 'Bouta really see a whole new level that I been on No one is close, compared to me everybody else Ensuring my bros, I'm 'bouta make seven mil' Did it all on my own and everybody else scared, better stay on their toes Got all these lame little rappers always saying the most So when I see 'em, I'll be like, "Get off my throne" I know I'ma do it, regardless of my mental health It's more than the music, it's proving myself Whatever might happen, I know I'll excel So get off my throne, yeah, yeah, yeah Get off my throne, uh, yeah