ThirtySomethin'

I remember damage Then escape Then adrift in a stranger's galaxy for a long time My memories are the same as yours They mean nothing You know your end point when you reach it It started to make sense He had tamed heartache, remained scarred His veins charred from coursing inflamed gore Staved off the graveyard to erase the brainwash So stray thoughts could formulate into a campaign Aw, insane spark, he made his over to the registrar So he could register, embark on the endeavor Defeated the probability, completed the odyssey but Upon return appalled to see the streets had been emptied Whether result of a virus that left the planet in crisis Or that his old alliances had passed him in milestones Social life once so thriving now depleted and lifeless He ceded to lean on his vices and enter the maelstrom How come it feels the universe is conniving To have him take a dive or coerce his demise Ignoring the signs he coaxed himself with requisite lies So he could carry on controlling his smiles and his cries Not ignorant of the night, but never properly cautious Refused to enter the wild until properly sauced up Shortcut to feelings of elation and false love All good, as long as we don't weigh what it costs us Toss up on where he'd end up late in the outing But first stop was The Pocket for familiar surroundings His heart pounding, excited, it was gonna be hype Too bad he was soon subjected to a memory wipe He came to hours later... on the side of the street From a slumber fertilized by the drinks No recognizable landmark far as eyes could see Realizing he'd no idea what transpired the prior eve Heightened defeat immediately when searching his pockets Though he had his wallet, license and cards all departed No phone or car keys, as he clutched his chest in alarm His chain gone to douse the injury with insult Without any recollection of who could be at fault He collected himself and his thoughts and proceeded to walk Reality warped, he came to recognize his location Discerning he'd just never seen this place in the daytime No way home he made his way to the metro station And without way for payment he hopped over the gate First stop, to ascertain that his whip still remained Then head to brunch to alleviate the pain with some champagne Vehicle found intact... but still something was lost As he went off to procure him a pour Placed an order at the bar then asked to make a call So he could inform his sister of his stark disregard And have her come pick him up as he drank through the morn Forlorn, all introspection'd have to wait till tomorrow And as echoes wash ashore from a consciousness reclaimed It remains unexplained how this is what I became I feel shame He could never figure it out, how to get The only that ever really made him tick And so he fell sick Cursed with an affliction that urged him to sip The only way to hasten that feeling of elation That he couldn't obtain from any other situation Yet the self-hatred was so patient Waited safely beneath that ocean of suppressed emotion Until the shores receded to reveal the demon lurking Underneath, that undefeated and indefatigable beast That refused all relief because it only wanted one thing To eat and eat until no iota of self esteem Remained to restrain the beast's ability to Sustain and take control In search for control he relinquished it The demon took hold and extinguished it Every trace of pride or self worth or love had been drained Until the only claim that remained was shame