Corporate Christmas (feat. Alan Watts)

If you want to find a true folk religion in our culture Look at the rites of Santa Claus Santa Claus Even before the beginning of Advent Which was supposed to be a three-to-four-week fasting period In preparation for the feast (In preparation for the feast) Streets are decorated for Christmas The shops, littered with tinsel and festive display of gifts And public address systems warble electronic carols So that one is sick death of "Venite Adoremus" Long before Christmas Day Trees are already baubled and illumined in most homes And as the big buildup proceeds They're surrounded by those shiny packages With shimmering ribbons Which looked as if they held gifts for princes Gifts for princes Gifts for princes Gifts for princes By this time, Christmas parties have already been Held in schools and offices Before closing for the actual holiday So that by Christmas Eve The celebrations have just about blown their top But there are still those packages under the tree (But there are still those packages under the tree) But there are still those packages under the tree And stockings by the fireplace Gifts for princes Gifts for princes When, at last, the day comes The children are frantic Hardly able to wait for breakfast And not having slept most of the night They tear those golden and silver parcels to shreds As if they contain nothing less than the elixir of life Or the philosophers' stone Or the philosophers' stone (Or the philosophers' stone) By noon, the living room Looks as if a wastepaper basket crashed into a dime store Leaving a wreck of mangled cartons Excelsior, wrapping paper, and riving ribbons Neckties, upended dolls, half-assembled model railroads Space suits, plastic atom bombs And scattered chocolate bars Hundreds of Tinkertoy pieces, crushed tree ornaments Miniature sports cars, water pistols Bottles of whiskeys And balloons An hour later, the children are blubbering or screaming And have to be shooed out of doors While the mess is shoved together To make room for Christmas dinner - [Eddie] Why are you crying? - [Catherine] I told you we put it in too early - [Clark] Oh, it's just a little dry. Here's the heart Thereafter, the 12 days of Christmas Are spent with upset stomachs, colds, and influenza And on New Year's Eve The adults get stoned to forget the whole thing The adults get stoned to forget the whole thing The adults get stoned to forget the whole thing