Heaven's Gate

I created those around me Though, I don't know which is worse 'Cause playing god is funny 'til you have to choose who's dying first I became the thing I feared, taking their lives in my hand My innocence had consequences that I still don't understand I was told that I was vital in the plan to save my life So I promised mine in hopes I'd be the one wielding the knife Our bodies were the vehicle, transporters of the soul I was young and bold and stupid in a six-foot self-dug holе Was I the only one to question anything thеy said? I take it back, I'll follow 'til I fly or 'til I'm dead My immortal evolutionary traits are still intact I am unapologetic for the sympathy I lacked I left my body back in California 'cause I'm weak Overdosed on phenobarbital, It's part of my mystique So, in '97, I gave up my future I'd been raised to reject my human nature In the hopes that I'd be praised I thought SOS meant "save our souls" Instead, it meant jack shit 'Cause nobody came to help me when I told myself I'd quit I trusted blindly, was it wrong for me to latch on tight? 'Cause I didn't realize nettles stung and apples weren't all white Ignorance is bliss or maybe ignorance is bait 'Cause I didn't deserve heaven, but I'm standing at its gate Was I the only one to question anything they said? I take it back, I'll follow 'til I fly or 'til I'm dead My immortal evolutionary traits are still intact I am unapologetic for the empathy I lacked I left my body back in Cali, I'm not bothered to return The taste of apple sauce and vodka aren't my main concerns (aren't my main concerns) Giving up is easy when the default's to survive 'Cause a better life will only cost three quarters and a five I'll meet you in the promised paradise we often preach So I'd hope for liberation, but that isn't what we teach My immortal evolutionary traits are still intact I am unapologetic for the empathy I lacked I left my body back in San Diego, Santa Fe They could tell me fucking nonsense with the knowledge I'd obey